During his practice, Albert Ellis noticed that negative emotions and neurotic behavior arise not from external events, but because of the irrational beliefs, opinions and thoughts that exist in the human mind. Putting it simply, psychological problems are caused not by an event itself, but by how we have decided to accept that event.

For example, if someone has their foot stepped on, that person might see it merely as an accident and forget about it instantly, or they might shout obscenities and be angry all day as a result. As you see, one event may cause totally different interpretations and responses.

According to Albert Ellis’ theory, most psychological problems arise in people only because of the presence of some irrational beliefs. Ellis identified three categories of these irrational beliefs:

1. The world must give me the things and provide the conditions in life that I want; I must be protected from all troubles, otherwise life will become unbearable and I will never be happy.

2. You must treat me fairly based on my subjective expectations; you have no right to disappoint or upset me, otherwise, you are a bad person.

3. I must do each task well and/or must be supported and recognized by people who are important to me, otherwise I am not worth anything.

If we think about the items on this list carefully, it becomes clear that all of these points can be summed up in one word - requirements. They are requirements of the world, of other people and of ourselves.

In the following article, Luminosity will discuss these three requirements in more depth. In the meantime, tell us, are our requirements of the world a mechanism of self-destruction?

Never before has information flow been so rapid, time for making decisions been so brief, and the density of events been so high. Everything has its price, though, and increased stress is what we pay for such a fast pace of life. Events flash by at rocket speed and we cannot avoid the feeling that we do not have time for anything. Fortunately, a cure for this increased stress has been already found.

Slow Life. The basic principle of slow life is to enjoy every moment, live here and now and, most importantly, keep up everything without hurrying. However, in order to stay relaxed and listen to your own internal clock, you need to make some efforts. To start with, turn off the TV and reduce the time spent at the computer in order to eliminate unnecessary news and information noise.

Do not try to manage everything. Instead, use a simple rule: one day - one event. Check your wish list: the way to happiness lies not in your ability to buy everything, but in minimizing your wants. The only thing you need to do is find out what your true desires are. Do what helps you relax and stay calm as often as possible, such as going for a walk in the fresh air or admiring the snowfall.

Slow Food is a movement created in contrast to fast food. Slow food supporters say "no" to eating on the run, consuming junk food and convenience foods. Taking meal should be a ritual in which not only food is important, but also dishes, tableware, interior design and good company. Slow food is prepared with seasonal ingredients grown on native land. Learn how to cook. This is a surefire way to double your eating pleasure!

Slow Work. When you hear about the idea of ​​slow work for the first time, it seems unrealistic. However, many consultants argue that happy and easy-going people work much more efficiently than those who are constantly nervous and afraid of being late. Delegate your responsibilities, divide big issues into smaller tasks, and plan your affairs to work on only one task at time. Take breaks, giving your brain time to rest and find new ideas. Stop placing your career above all: switch your attention and thoughts in your spare time, communicate with different people and do pleasant things.

Slow Travel contemplates thoughtful travelling. Stay at one place for a long time, live there to feel it, meet the locals, and you will evolve from a tourist to a traveler.

Slow Parenting is a rejection of modern early child development methods. Its proponents call on you to listen to your own child’s biorhythms and recommend spending more time with your son or daughter by playing simple games or reading books instead of teaching them a foreign language from the age of three months.

Slow Reading encourages you to enjoy the process of reading, re-read favorite books and read aloud not only to children, but also to your family and friends.

Slow Life permeates all spheres of life.  Indeed, anything can be slow! The main point is to enjoy as many moments of your life as possible, to take pleasure from the present moment, and to feel happy and alive.

Your brain needs a reset. If you come home and can hardly stand on your feet, having accomplished ​​only ten of twenty tasks planned for the day, do not blame yourself for being inefficient! Your brain cannot continuously carry out your orders because it also needs to take care of itself. The brain should reboot and clear itself, so avoid any outside information for a while.

False kindness. You only think that you help when solving other people's problems. People must solve their problems themselves, because they develop as their problem-solving arsenal grows.

There are harbingers of things and events to come. Moreover, they increase in number! One dirty cup on a table tends to turn into the pile of filthy dishes. One inscription on a freshly painted fence will not be lonely for long, as soon the whole fence will be covered with graffiti. Try to recognize and nip adverse events in the bud. It is much easier to stop a snowflake than an avalanche.

Less is better than too much. This applies to nearly everything. For example, if you make a speech, finish it before people get bored. As Voltaire once said, ‘The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.’ If you go out on a date, say goodbye earlier than your partner does. Leave your friends’ house before they yearn for solitude.

The magic word. It turns out that the magic word is ‘No’ rather than ‘Please’. Many problems can be avoided if you learn how to politely turn people away. The main reason people are afraid to say ‘No’ is that they are afraid to be disliked! Nevertheless, you cannot please everyone. When you refuse reasonably and politely, it improves your self-esteem and increases self-respect. Learn to react calmly to other people's negative emotions about your refusal.

Ideal conditions do not exist. There will never be perfect conditions. Of course, it would silly to deny that favorable circumstances do occur occasionally. Take advantage of the opportunities you have and make progress when you can, rather than procrastinating with the hope that conditions may improve.

The law of once organized. Organizewell once; then strive to maintain that level of organization.

Influence of the environment. The environment affects the way that one develops. Even if people do not possess outstanding talents, in one situation they can become more intelligent, while another milieu can make them primitive. Seek out a positive environment to help you achieve the best outcomes.

Polar reaction to talent. Talented people often cause polar reactions, either adoration or hate. People cannot perceive them indifferently and it is impossible to ignore or forget them. Therefore, if you are talented, do not expect universal approval.

Not your people. People who do not choose to be with you will leave, no matter how hard you try to save your relationship.

Shared memories. Shared memories of events tie people together more than anything else. So if you want to build and maintain affection with people who are close to you, create positive memories with them.

Losses are inevitable. People make mistakes in everything they do, so losses are inevitable. We can influence many things but not everything. We cannot achieve perfection in all our actions. Knowing this, do not take any loss to heart too much.


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