1. Requirements to the world are the most preposterous, as this is the demand that the outside world must meet your expectations. Such requirements most often occur in statements such as "It should have been different!" in relation to the government, life in general, justice, etc. Change occurs through action, not complaints.  If you want something changed, stop insisting on the impossible and use the opportunities you have been given to work positively towards making that change. Luckily, there are usually plenty of positive options to change a bad situation.

2. Requirements to others can destroy any relationship very quickly, because they quickly turn into aggression. We get stressed mainly when dealing with people around us. It may be hard to admit, but this is often our own fault, because we believe that it is faster and easier to express our thoughts by requirements and demands. This approach does not work, because a demand is a militant form of communication.

How can this be avoided? Pass from requirements to requests. The main difference between them is that you must accept that your request may be refused. If you want to be heard, it is better to build your request from three parts: the main part (what you are asking); explanation (why you are asking); and positive reinforcement (praise or the promise of a reward for the request). If you can change all requirements into requests in your daily life, you will easily avoid quarrels and significantly reduce your stress level.

3. Requirements to yourself to be smarter, more successful, or more beautiful than anyone else are patently unattainable. Therefore, such goals result in disappointment, self-aggression and depression. Nevertheless, it certainly does not mean that we should not strive for perfection. Quite the contrary!

Here is one excellent example:  Coronary heart disease and heart attacks are not typical for most Japanese people. A thorough long-term study carried out in the United States determined that Japanese raised in the US in the traditional Japanese culture differ from typical Americans in one important feature: they are not as prone to competition and do not compare themselves with others.

This study has revealed an extremely important fact: human health and predisposition to heart attacks are highly dependent on education methods. In Japan, one of the basic principles of children’s development and learning is the idea that they should always compare themselves not with others, but with themselves. Children should strive to become better than they were yesterday, being told: "Today you have handled a challenge better than yesterday, and tomorrow you can perform even better."  This principle directs the child to the achievable goal of self-improvement, reduces the number of internal and external conflicts and, furthermore, promotes good health for the future.

During his practice, Albert Ellis noticed that negative emotions and neurotic behavior arise not from external events, but because of the irrational beliefs, opinions and thoughts that exist in the human mind. Putting it simply, psychological problems are caused not by an event itself, but by how we have decided to accept that event.

For example, if someone has their foot stepped on, that person might see it merely as an accident and forget about it instantly, or they might shout obscenities and be angry all day as a result. As you see, one event may cause totally different interpretations and responses.

According to Albert Ellis’ theory, most psychological problems arise in people only because of the presence of some irrational beliefs. Ellis identified three categories of these irrational beliefs:

1. The world must give me the things and provide the conditions in life that I want; I must be protected from all troubles, otherwise life will become unbearable and I will never be happy.

2. You must treat me fairly based on my subjective expectations; you have no right to disappoint or upset me, otherwise, you are a bad person.

3. I must do each task well and/or must be supported and recognized by people who are important to me, otherwise I am not worth anything.

If we think about the items on this list carefully, it becomes clear that all of these points can be summed up in one word - requirements. They are requirements of the world, of other people and of ourselves.

In the following article, Luminosity will discuss these three requirements in more depth. In the meantime, tell us, are our requirements of the world a mechanism of self-destruction?

Never before has information flow been so rapid, time for making decisions been so brief, and the density of events been so high. Everything has its price, though, and increased stress is what we pay for such a fast pace of life. Events flash by at rocket speed and we cannot avoid the feeling that we do not have time for anything. Fortunately, a cure for this increased stress has been already found.

Slow Life. The basic principle of slow life is to enjoy every moment, live here and now and, most importantly, keep up everything without hurrying. However, in order to stay relaxed and listen to your own internal clock, you need to make some efforts. To start with, turn off the TV and reduce the time spent at the computer in order to eliminate unnecessary news and information noise.

Do not try to manage everything. Instead, use a simple rule: one day - one event. Check your wish list: the way to happiness lies not in your ability to buy everything, but in minimizing your wants. The only thing you need to do is find out what your true desires are. Do what helps you relax and stay calm as often as possible, such as going for a walk in the fresh air or admiring the snowfall.

Slow Food is a movement created in contrast to fast food. Slow food supporters say "no" to eating on the run, consuming junk food and convenience foods. Taking meal should be a ritual in which not only food is important, but also dishes, tableware, interior design and good company. Slow food is prepared with seasonal ingredients grown on native land. Learn how to cook. This is a surefire way to double your eating pleasure!

Slow Work. When you hear about the idea of ​​slow work for the first time, it seems unrealistic. However, many consultants argue that happy and easy-going people work much more efficiently than those who are constantly nervous and afraid of being late. Delegate your responsibilities, divide big issues into smaller tasks, and plan your affairs to work on only one task at time. Take breaks, giving your brain time to rest and find new ideas. Stop placing your career above all: switch your attention and thoughts in your spare time, communicate with different people and do pleasant things.

Slow Travel contemplates thoughtful travelling. Stay at one place for a long time, live there to feel it, meet the locals, and you will evolve from a tourist to a traveler.

Slow Parenting is a rejection of modern early child development methods. Its proponents call on you to listen to your own child’s biorhythms and recommend spending more time with your son or daughter by playing simple games or reading books instead of teaching them a foreign language from the age of three months.

Slow Reading encourages you to enjoy the process of reading, re-read favorite books and read aloud not only to children, but also to your family and friends.

Slow Life permeates all spheres of life.  Indeed, anything can be slow! The main point is to enjoy as many moments of your life as possible, to take pleasure from the present moment, and to feel happy and alive.

Terms of Service